Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
