hotel room ftw
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
