Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
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I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
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I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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