i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
