is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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