why didn't you poke me back
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
