we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
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You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
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Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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