Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
