I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
