I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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