I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
