i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
