you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
