Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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