I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
