I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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