if i can run in heels then i can drive
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize