The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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