The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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