I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
