I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
