You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
They are going to name an STD after you.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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