and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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