dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize