"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
