WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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