my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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