Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
