The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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