Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
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No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
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The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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