His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
