wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize