We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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