Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
nutella sex= disaster
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
