that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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