Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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