i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
