she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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