how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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