Im at strip club and am horny
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she looked like the before picture.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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