Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We are all done wearing pants today
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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