i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
