please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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