I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
