i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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