What did we do last night that was yellow?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
