I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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