I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
