check it out our google latitudes are spooning
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
