he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
