ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
