just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize