I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
