Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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