Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
