i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
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