Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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