Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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