fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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