i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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