the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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